Before coming into recovery I used my character defects as weapons to protect myself from the world.
My pride, ego, dishonesty and self centerdness would help me climb ladders at work. I’d use self-pity and low self worth to create narratives in my head about how I was constantly a victim in the world around me and use this to justify my drinking and using.
I relied on these defects of character to get me through life, I used them to protect me but I ultimately destroyed myself in the process. Being in recovery has taught me to put these weapons down pick up tools instead.
Now I live my life each day using tools in my 12 step programme. I go to meetings, I work with others, I try to be of service in recovery and to the people in the world around me. I try to practice principles of recovery, principles such as honesty, tolerance, humility, being patient and selfless. Some days are better than others, I find myself picking up weapons without thinking and that’s where I need to reflect on my thinking and behaviour, look at what’s causing this and actively work towards change and action each and every day.
My life today is so much better as a result of embracing this change, it’s more manageable, my relationship with myself, my friends and family and the world around me is so much better. I’m happier, have a healthier outlook on life and can see myself changing each day into a better version of myself. That’s my experience anyway, so If you haven’t already, try putting down the weapons and pick up the tools…
/ J
